Gujju boy's open letter to the non dhokla eating world!

Deer Indians,

Helo!!!!

Will you Fraanship wit me?

I will be Urr frand 4ever.

Urs lavingly,

Cumless

This is the exact impression that a lot of people in India have about Gujarati people. We don't know English. We almost rape the language. Well, guess what, we are NOT that way. Just because you got a friend request from a couple of baboons on facebook or you know a few nut jobs doesn't mean the entire community is like that. If we  started profiling people that way then, North Indians would be thugs, South Indians would be a cross between Vinod Kambli and Bappi Lehri, Maharashtrians would be like KRK and Bongs would be like communists. But we all know that its not the case. 

Let's clear up a few things about Gujarati people. 

First of all, Garba is not a festival. Its a form of dance. Navratri is the festival. And NO, not all gujjus can dance like Naresh Kanodia or sing like Falguni Pathak.

Second, Dhokla, Khaman and Khandvi are different things. Also, as much as Kareena Kapoor wants you to believe it, they are not bombs. They are tasty if you know how to cook them. 

Third, we are not kanjoos. We just know how to spend our money properly. Is that such a big thing? We know how to make money. We are good with business. If you are not, deal with it. Bongs are good at music and stuff. Every community has their thing. Ours is money making.

Fourth, when people tell you Gujarat is safe for girls it does not mean that guys here are panzies. Fortunately, we know how to respect women. A girl in Gujarat can drive around at 2am in the night on a two wheeler and still not have to worry about anything. 

Fifth, not every gujju is into share market. Just because Harshad Mehta and Ketan Parekh took your trip once doesn't mean we all are spend our nights thinking up of sinister plans of taking over the financial market.

Sixth, we did not start the English Indian Accent. We were one of the first to go to foreign countries and set up shop there but that does not mean that we were the only ones. 

Seventh, all gujju food is not sweet. We have namkeen and spicy stuff as well. It's just that people who eat gujju stuff at weird places always end up getting sweet stuff and they then go on to generalise about all gujju food. I agree, our food is not that spicy but that's because its mainly vegetarian food. If you want to eat proper gujju food then go to a gujju friends house and not to some roadside Gujarati thali place in North India which is run by a South Indian with a chinki cook. 

Eight, prohibition is not such a big thing. If you think Gujarat is not 'cool' enough just because of prohibition to devdas ki kasam, Aap bevde hain.

Nine, gujju people don't have that obsession over fair skin. They are not all engineers. They don't hate any other part of the country even though they sometimes make fun of that place. 

Ten, gujju diet has both rice and chapatti. We are like a mix of North India and South India. Add to it the sweets and we have a bit of East India as well.

These are just a few things that needed to be cleared. I hope all you people out there understand. Stop being a regionalist. Its okay to be identified as belonging to a particular region but then putting people in water tight compartments based on just their place of birth is just stupid.  

As Shahrukh Khan said in Chak De India, "Mujhe sirf ek hi naam sunai deta hai, India."

I hope all laundas, madrasans and bengalis will stop the online war. 

Its as pointless as watching India play in England. 

Cheers!