Dear Law School Administration,
There are two types of students that you can meet in life, law students and others. Please be very afraid of the first kind as they are the sharpest, meanest and the most bored form of student that you will ever have to face.
Why you ask?
Well, here are a few reasons:
- Smallest of problems will be held as 'violating our fundamental Right to Life'. The bathrooms are far away and sometimes don't have water? Fudge you, that's my fundamental right you are violating.
- Everything that is done by you without absolute transparency is arbitrary. You choose a room on the third floor as your cabin when all other related offices are on the first floor? That's totally arbitrary.
- If the students don't like it, it is probably unreasonable.
- We are looking for a fight. Give us the slightest opportunity and we will come charging towards you like a bull comes towards a matador with a red flag.
- We will threaten to file a PIL for everything. You threw out my favorite guard? See you in court!
- Quoting case laws during all conversation comes naturally to us. It's our bread and butter. So if you don't understand them then don't give us the O.o look.
- Most of us have a better command over the English language than other non-law students. Maybe its because we are used to drafting stuff or because we read a lot of books. We can write simple stuff in a complex way and also simplify complex stuff. Email and Facebook comment wars are one of our hobbies.
- We are not just argumentative. We are bloody good at it. It is not a surprise considering how much practice we get. We can argue about *everything* from Messi to Madonna to Mulayam Singh Yadav to Mumbai Indians.
- Reaching a consensus is not a possibility. Atleast not for the first 5 hours of the discussion. So next time you ask for our opinion, take out sufficient time.
- It might seem like we don't pay attention in class but we magically remember all the lessons from class when we need to use them in arguments with faculties. "Sir, you only taught us arbitrariness and abuse of dominant position."
- Didn't give me an opportunity to justify myself when you caught me using my cell phone in class? Well, you can't punish me. You violated principles of natural justice by not giving me a chance. Lawyered!
- Precedent is effectively used. If you did or did not do something about an incident some years ago, we will hold you to it and make sure you do it in the exact same way. Unless ofcourse we are benefiting from the change!
- "You don't have the authority to do this." Yes, this is one of our favorite lines.
- We possess the amazing ability to argue both for and against a fact.
- If everything else fails, we will always have humanitarian grounds as our backup option.
So, if you think you can mess with us and get away with it? All we have to say is:
P.S. - All law school administrators who are reading this, this is not a threat or something. No intention to offend anyone. These are just a few points law school administrators need to take care while managing students with this specific skill set. If you still find it offensive then well, there's nothing much you can do about it. :P